Whilst platonic co-parenting is not necessarily a new term, the concept is gaining more ground but what does it actually mean?
What is platonic co-parenting?
The term co-parenting refers to a situation whereby two parents share the duties of bringing up a child and work together for the benefit of that child. This term usually refers to parents who have separated or divorced following a romantic relationship together or marriage. But what if the parents were not and had never intended to be in an intimate and or romantic relationship? In these circumstances, the parents are referred to as platonic co-parents.
How does it work?
Platonic co-parenting arises when two parents actively decide to raise a child together, but the relationship between them is purely platonic. A platonic relationship is one not categorised by romance or intimacy. The parents could be friends for example. The parents often decide to live separately, but sometimes they co-parent under the same roof. This idea is said to be well known amongst the LGBTQ+ community, however it is gaining track more widely. There are matchmaking apps out there which open up the door for prospective parents to meet other prospective platonic parents or sperm donors.
Although co-parenting can be beneficial, sometimes it does not work out and leads to co-parenting disputes. If you find yourself in this situation, it may be necessary to seek legal advice.
Co-parenting while in a relationship
It is becoming more common for separated parents to co-parent whilst being in a relationship with a new partner.
Here are some ways to balance co-parenting and being in a new relationship:
- Try not to rush into introducing your new partner to your children. This should be a smooth and gradual process to allow all parties to feel more comfortable. If you are able to, you could give your co-parent the ‘heads up’ before introducing your new partner to your children to ensure everyone is on the same page.
- Handle any questions from your children with care. This is a change for them too. They may therefore have questions to ask you/your new partner and these should be dealt with compassion.
- Try to maintain a healthy co-parenting relationship whilst in your new relationship. This could be achieved, for example, by installing open communication such as informing your new partner of any agreements in place with your co-parent. This also relates to being open with your co-parent; for example, letting them know any upcoming changes that they should be made aware of, for instance if they are moving in with you.
- Be patient. This is a change to your overall family dynamics, and it may take some time to get used to for you and/or your co-parent, your new partner and the children. You should focus on installing boundaries and having open communication with all parties to move forward in a positive way.
Help and advice
If you are finding yourself in and amongst the rise of platonic co-parenting, whether you are heading down this route or are already in a co-parenting relationship, you may have questions about how it works legally. If so, our Children team can assist and advise on these matters.